WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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