And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize