I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
