I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize