I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is wine microwaveable?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If its not for food we ain't going out.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
