I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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