if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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