my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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