He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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