No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
