I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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