People in love make me want to vomit
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
