uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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