Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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