How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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