I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
