Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
