They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
