They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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