i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
