You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
