listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it hurts more in the daytime
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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