No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize