i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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