he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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