thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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