So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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