So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
