No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
