i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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