they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
