I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
