its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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