What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have aggressive nipples.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
