I will die if light touches me.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
