So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
