if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
