I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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