I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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