Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
