it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
