she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
