I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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