Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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