his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
