these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
