You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
