i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
