Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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