I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
