Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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